One of the things that I struggled with was having to change my workout routines. I had to accept that I could no longer do some exercises. Some days I would have shortness of breath and some exercises were too strenuous for the baby.
OF COURSE, my ass didn’t listen. I continued to do what I wanted to do, just a bit slower. At least until one of the scariest moments of my life happened. I went to the gym that morning. I decided to attempt to complete the pull-up routine that I did pre-pregnancy, mind you at this point, I was 8 months pregnant. I completed a few reps and I was so excited. But, at this moment, I made the choice to sacrifice the baby’s safety for pull-ups.
Yeah, I know...WTF was I thinking?
Jesus lol. Anyway, I went home and used the bathroom. There was blood in the toilet. I felt like my heart stopped beating out of fear. I immediately cried out to my significant other. We went to the nearest hospital and they checked us in immediately. The baby seemed to be okay, however, they wanted to monitor me overnight. The doctor ended up injecting me with some meds to help the baby's lungs fully develop in the event I needed to go into premature labor. Needless to say, we weren’t mentally prepared for this.
I was supposed to go to Florida while my honey went to Costa Rica for a bachelor party weekend. I was cleared the following day, but I was strongly encouraged to follow-up with my OB and not fly. That is not something I wanted to hear. I truly wanted my man to go because there’s no reason for both of us to feel stuck. The reality was, he needed this vacation before the baby was born. Women go through our own stressors but so do our partners.
So, I was pissed and started engaging in negative self-talk. It went a little like this:
This baby ain’t even here yet and my ass is stuck at home.
Ugh. MY LIFE IS OVER!!!
(Yes, I know, the dramatics were at their peak lol.)
Long story short, I went ahead and followed up with my OB office and thank goodness the office manager ordered for me to get another sonogram.
Apparently, my cervix was 6 centimeters open (10 cm = childbirth). I was strongly advised not to go to Florida because the pressure from the plane could have caused my cervix to open more. I would have definitely gone into premature labor. So, WOMP WOMP!! Dreams crushed. I had to stay home while my honey was in Costa Rica and my family was in Florida. Talk about feeling alone and STUCK! (which was my favorite word during my pregnancy). I was given medication to help close my cervix back up. On top of that, I was put on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy.
Justine = TKO’d.
Reflection: Talk about definitely wallowing in my sorrow lol. I made myself the victim during my pregnancy and at the time, it felt warranted. Hell, I’m just going to blame the hormones. I was so fixated on not gaining too much weight and I was choosing to ignore the fact that my body would change. Looking back, I’m grateful that my daughter came out healthy, even when at times I didn’t put her needs first. She was never the huge stop sign I made her out to be, she was a pit stop that is now helping me win the race. She used to be so distant and remote to me that she was referred to as “the” baby, not MY baby. Now that she’s here, she’s my forever partner in crime, my ride or die.
So, to pass Justine, Your body won’t be exactly the same. IT WILL BE STRONGER.