I See You, Black and Brown Men: Reclaiming What Was Always Yours
- Justine Astacio, LMHC
- Jun 3
- 7 min read
Before we get into how trauma shows up, and the tools that can support your healing, I want to speak to you, not as a therapist, but as a woman of color who SEES you.
I see the inequality woven into our society and how it can create internal conflict long before you have the tools to understand or navigate it. You may have been shaped by cultures that set expectations without ever showing you how to meet them.
From an early age in classrooms, public spaces, and in how authority figures responded to you before you even spoke, those messages may have been loud and clear, or subtle and confusing. And somewhere along the way, the idea of “being a man” was handed to you before you had the chance to define it for yourself. That kind of weight leaves a mark.
You are a Black and Brown man navigating a world that has not always made space for your pain or your healing. That does not mean you cannot reclaim it for yourself.
Emotional support may feel distant or unfamiliar, and vulnerability can start to feel unsafe. You’re expected to stay strong, stay quiet, and keep going without ever being taught how to feel safe or ask for what you need.
What if, instead of accepting the injustices imposed on us, we chose to reclaim our inherited strength and turn it inward?
What if we allowed ourselves to grow more introspective, to deepen our self-awareness, and to treat that awareness as a superpower?
What if we faced discomfort instead of fleeing it, sitting with the unease, letting it teach us, and allowing it to shape us rather than break us?
What if we met the many versions of ourselves, the ones that emerged to survive with compassion, understanding, and gratitude? Those parts showed up when no one else did. Honoring them is the first step in redefining what emotional support means for you, by you.
From that place of inner connection, you can begin to express your needs with clarity and confidence. You can begin to build relationships not from a place of survival, but from safety, reciprocity, and authenticity.
You already have what it takes.
You are the blueprint.
You are the example.
You are enough.
Now that we’ve named some of what you’ve been carrying, let’s explore what’s happening beneath the surface.
Understanding how trauma and suffering affect the mind and body can help you make sense of your reactions and remind you that what you’ve felt, and may still be feeling, is a natural human response to hardship. Let’s take it step by step.
Trauma Within YOU
Trauma isn't just what happened to you. It’s what your body and nervous system had to absorb when things moved too fast, cut too deep, or lasted too long.
Psychological trauma happens when an experience overwhelms your capacity to cope and fosters a sense of hopelessness. It might be a single moment of fear or a slow, grinding exposure to stress that wears you down over time. Either way, it disrupts your ability to feel safe, connected, and grounded.
The different kinds of trauma
Acute trauma:
A single distressing event, such as an accident, loss, or act of violence, that leaves a lasting impact.
Chronic trauma:
Repeated or prolonged exposure to adversity, including racism, poverty, or unstable environments.
Complex trauma:
Often rooted in early life. It involves ongoing, deeply personal experiences of harm that are relational, invasive, and emotionally overwhelming.
Unresolved trauma doesn’t simply fade with time. It shows up in the body, in your reactions, in your relationships, and in the way you move through the world.
For Black and Brown Men, Trauma Runs Deep
Black and Brown men live at the crossroads of personal pain and systemic injustice. Facing surveillance, dismissal, misdiagnosis, criminalization, and silence. They’re told to be strong, but rarely supported in softness.
Yet, Black and Brown men are not a monolith. Some carry deep generational legacies. Others bring stories of migration from Africa, the Caribbean, Central America, and beyond. These histories shape how trauma is felt and expressed.
Whether first generation or fifth, shaped by culture, migration, violence, or inherited pain, the impact is real. So is the need for care that honors your whole humanity.
The Emotional Landscape of Trauma
(How can we use our body when we don’t have the words )
Healing begins with awareness, not judgment. Noticing what’s happening inside of you is the first step.
Ask yourself:
What am I feeling in my body right now?
What emotions are surfacing, even if I can’t explain them?
What thoughts or behaviors keep repeating that don’t feel aligned with who I am?
Am I responding with love or fear?
Trauma can cloud clarity and disconnect you from yourself. Learning to observe your inner world is a first step in reclaiming your agency. Healing isn’t about forgetting the past, it’s about making space for the present.
When trauma happens, the body often reacts before the mind. Your nervous system kicks into fight, flight, or freeze. If that response isn’t completed, the survival energy gets stuck.
That energy doesn’t vanish. It lingers in your muscles, breath, posture, and even digestion. You may feel on edge, shut down, or unwell without knowing why.
Somatic healing helps reconnect mind and body. It supports you in noticing what the body remembers and safely releasing it.
Grounding techniques:
Practices that help you stay connected to the present moment when stress or panic arises.
Body scans:
Noticing areas of tension or numbness and exploring them gently.
Breathwork:
Using intentional breath to regulate your nervous system and bring awareness back to the body.
Movement:
Walking, stretching, dancing, or other physical activities that help shift energy.
Creative expression:
Art, journaling, music, or voice work that allows feelings to be expressed without needing words.
Stillness and observation:
Sitting with sensations and learning to tolerate discomfort without being overwhelmed.
Somatic healing does not require you to retell your trauma in detail. It invites you to reconnect and build safety within your body and move at a pace that feels right for you.
Working with a trauma-informed or somatic therapist can be helpful. Many of these practices you can also begin on your own.
From an early age in classrooms, public spaces, and in how authority figures responded to you before you even spoke, those messages may have been loud and clear, or subtle and confusing.
Navigating Barriers to Care
Many Black and Brown men face real challenges when trying to access mental health care. These include:
Limited access to providers who understand racial trauma
A lack of representation among therapists and clinicians
Deep-rooted mistrust of healthcare systems
Stigma around mental health in families and communities
These barriers are valid. They also don’t have to stop your healing.
Here are a few ways to move forward:
(We are here to support you)
Start with community:
Trusted conversations with friends, elders, mentors, or barbers can help you open up.
Use trusted media:
Podcasts, books, and videos by Black therapists or healers can offer language and insight that resonate.
Search for culturally responsive care:
Use terms like “trauma-informed,” “racially conscious,” or “Black-affirming” when researching providers. Review bios and websites for language that reflects an understanding of racial trauma and lived experience. Don’t hesitate to ask how they support Black men in their practice.
Know your rights in care:
You are allowed to ask questions. You can walk away from providers who don’t see you. You’re allowed to find care that makes you feel seen.
A Return to Wholeness
You were never meant to carry all of this alone.
You are not broken. You are not too late. You are not too far gone.
You are a Black and Brown man navigating a world that has not always made space for your pain or your healing. That does not mean you cannot reclaim it for yourself.
Your healing doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. It doesn’t have to be fast or perfect. It just needs to be yours.
Gentle Steps You Can Take Today
PAUSE AND BREATHE. Take one full minute. Feel your feet. Let your shoulders relax.
CHECK IN. Notice what sensations or emotions are present. No judgment.
MOVE YOUR BODY.Walk, stretch, dance, or shake. Let the energy shift.
EXPRESS SOMETHING. Journal, draw, or speak aloud. Let it out without editing.
REACH OUT. Connect with someone who sees you or explore support that honors your experience.
Give yourself permission to feel and trust that you will survive the uncomfortability
To every Black and Brown man reading this:
You deserve peace. Not as a reward, but as your starting point.
You deserve softness that strengthens you.
You deserve to heal in your way, at your pace, in your truth.
You’re not alone. We see you. We’re with you. Step by step, breath by breath, as you reclaim what’s always been yours.
Imagine a world where you define safety, lead by your own example, and claim your worth.
Where trust in yourself builds the connections you deserve because everything you need is already within you.
_____
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